Wasn't I busy enough?

It's March 3rd in the longest year of the century, and I'm staring at my computer writing up the first entry of my first blog wondering what I am on the eve of embarking on. My oldest daughter Ffion, is laying on the floor next to me watching "Ben and Holly,  and her little sister has roughly 30 more minutes of nap time before her cranky butt starts screaming for yogurt. Are all little kids obsessed with yogurt like mine are? 

I've been quarantined from school for five days now from exposure to a covid-19 positive student. At first that was cool - who doesn't want to take a day off randomly? However now on day five and with still at least four more days of quarantining, my eyes are crossing and I am feeling enormous amounts of both restlessness and laziness. I'm restlessly laying on my couch as much as possible. 

My husband Davin will tell you that when I get an idea in my head, if it's something I'm excited about I don't stop obsessing over it. I think I have that kind of ADHD where I hyperfocus, get tunnel-vision, and actually stop hearing things that are going on around me. This year has been a challenge to say the least for being a teacher, and I've been anxious to start exploring some options in case I ever need to leave the profession. This is not something I ever thought I would consider, but 2020 was a trying year, y'all! 

So, over winter break, the idea popped into my head about creating a line of hand-made candles for sale. I have always made candles for friends and family, have always found the art of pouring a candle very relaxing and almost meditative, but never really thought about taking it a step further. Something stirred in my head, I walked into our home office and told my husband, "WOULDN'T IT BE COOL IF I MADE CANDLES? FOR REAL THOUGH?" 

I've got an MFA in Theatre Directing from Purdue University (Boiler up!), and something I learned during my time there and have used always since is approaching plays/musicals with the phrase, "WOULDN'T IT BE COOL IF", as in "don't give myself a ceiling for potential", and then while moving forward with the project, be it time/money/talent, can it be done? 

So yeah, wouldn’t it be cool to take that jump and try out making candles? I mean, yes. Very. But hold up, with what time am I talking about? Not sure if anyone out there reading this ALSO is a teacher, or a mother of wee ones, or run’s a theatre program, but like…..all three of those are about 60 hours a week already. I’m negative in time. What am I doing? Especially this special covid-induced school year….before I go any further, you should know this: I love my kids. No, I’m not talking about the ones I birthed, although of course they are the loves of my life and I will dropkick anyone in a second if they look at them funny, but when I say, I love my kids, I mean my students, my thespians. The kiddos that I end up teaching for four of their formidable years. I meet these kids when they’re young, awkward, nervous about high school, but if you’ve ever met a thespian you know…….they’re all kinds of loveable weird. And then I get to have them for four years as they move through their growing pains, date a variety of jerks inevitably, have many come-to-Jesus talks, and then come senior year they leave the nest and an imprint on my heart always. I love teaching young people about the joys of creating theatre and putting on shows. I live for the shows! During the day teaching class has its moments, but the time after-school putting a play on is just magic. I knew I wanted to do this from the time I was a teen and that goal never really changed, until recently. 

Before I had my own children, I would easily spend 70 hours or more a week at school/at the theatre. Now that I’m a mom, and I LOVE being a mom, those kinds of hours just aren’t possible. Believe me, I have tried. After I had my second daughter, Shayleigh, I was breastfeeding her, and working full-time, and putting on a show. I would leave school, go pick her up, and wear her on my chest during rehearsals, telling kids to fix their choreography or think more about what their character wants during a specific moment……..with a four month old hanging out in my hand-me-down bjorn baby-wearing thing.  

Ffion is a perfectionist. She melts when she doesn’t know something for schoolwork, or has a difficult time drawing something. My husband and I are firm believers in being proud of making mistakes, and talk to her often about the mistakes we make. Gotta normalize it for her, right? So here’s a big mistake I have been making recently: not allowing myself to grow and change. 

I operate with passion in everything I do -- I go full-force. I don’t stop. I strive to give my all. And the mistake I’ve been making is trying to continue devoting almost my entire day-to-day life to my job as a teacher and program director. I lost balance. I was working harder, not smarter. So with launching Noelle’s Candle Company, I hope to re-balance that scale in life and adapt to my changing world. 

My passion for creating is never going away, that is embedded in me for eternity. Now I am able to share this passion with a wider audience, AND use my theatrical background to tell stories, but now through scent. I hope to not only provide high-quality home and body fragrances for my customers, but provide them with a little storytelling experience.